Girl, Unsolicited

Ever since Man’s Best Friend came out at midnight on 8/29, it has been playing in my earholes nonstop. This album feels almost like a 2.0 of Short ‘n’ Sweet, like Short ‘n’ Sweet could just tack Man’s Best Friend to the end and it would sound like it was meant to be that way. It’s a great pop album with tracks that make pretty good earworms. I’m calling this subgenre “horny girl pop”. Just like in Short ‘n’ Sweet, Sabrina is unafraid to show the world just how sex positive she is, all while having a good time, and I love it.

The album starts with “Manchild”, also the first single to be released, which is a complaint about boys and how she’s a magnet for the stupid, incompetent ones. It’s such a catchy tune and I’m sure anyone who has been in relationships with boys/men can relate to some degree. It’s pretty much just a “damn you silly boys, I’m just an innocent victim” but knowing that you’re not actually the innocent victim. It’s the type of tongue-in-cheek humor that presents in a lot of Sabrina’s songs.

As of right now, my favorite song of the album is the second track, “Tears” (my song rankings will be posted at the bottom of this post), which is Sabrina’s pop dedication to competent, caring men:

“I get wet at the thought of you being a responsible guy.
Treating me like you’re ‘sposed to do, tears run down my thighs.”

Like, yes. Please let me watch you build IKEA furniture and talk about my feelings. There’s a reason there’s a microtrope in the romance genre called competence porn. Men being good and capable is catnip for a lot of us. A man good at his job AND sex? Sign me up!

Then, Sabrina flips the script in the song “My Man on Willpower” by complaining about how responsible her man is and how he is too responsible. In the song, Sabrina sings about how her man is just so responsible and into his job that he doesn’t have time for her, and so she feels left behind and unwanted:

“My man on his willpower is something I don’t understand.
He fell in love with self-restraint and now it’s getting out of hand.”

The song is still such a bop, and actually I rank it my second favorite of the album. It’s like, yeah I know I told you that strong, competent men get me wet but you went too far. Don’t be so competent.

Following that track is the track called “Sugar Talking” which is Sabrina bitching about how a guy can say all the right things and make a lot of empty displays of love, but ultimately it’s all in the actions. She wants a man who’s present and wants to spend time with her. Among the songs on the album, it’s one of my least favorite tracks. Not because it’s not a good song, but it just doesn’t scratch the itch in the brain in the same way other songs do. It’s also one of the least memorable songs, which I know because I had to play the song just to remember what it sounds like. So, a bit meh.

The next song, Sabrina gets a little bit vulnerable in the song “We Almost Broke Up Again Last Night”, a song about a tumultuous relationship where they argue a lot and get to the point of almost breaking up but then never do.

“All the “I love you’s” and “I’m sorry’s” were said.
We had our sex and then we made amends, that’s right.
Called it a false alarm to all of our friends.
Then we almost broke up again last night.”

The album continues on that vulnerability trail with the song “Nobody’s Son”, which is about being perpetually single. Sonically, tonally, I don’t think it’s all that interesting. Again, I say this because I had to play the song to remember what it sounds like. It is what it is. This is also the case, for me, with the song “Don’t Worry I’ll Make You Worry” which is my least favorite song on the album. Again, it is not a bad song. I don’t skip it when it comes on. However, it is very forgettable. Sorry, not sorry.

The song “Never Getting Laid”, however, is a total bop. It is pretty much just her singing about how she hopes he has a decent life but that his decent life is also a life of celibacy. Like, hope everything in your life is bright and sunny but also that you never have sex again. The song is fun and sarcastic and very much in the vein of Sabrina’s tongue in cheek humor.

“Baby, I’m not angry
Love you just the same
I just hope you get agoraphobia some day
And all your days are sunny
From your window pane
Wish you a lifetime full of happiness
And a forever of never getting laid.”

Sabrina goes back into poppy bops with the songs “When Did You Get Hot?”, “Go Go Juice”, and “House Tour”. “House Tour” just makes me want to dance when I hear it. It’s a fun song about trying to invite the date into the home for some sex (presumably). It is so catchy and is such an earworm. I swear it’s “House Tour”, “Tears”, and “My Man on Willpower” playing on repeat in my head.

I like the song “When Did You Get Hot?” as it’s very much a classic pop song, but with Sabrina’s fun humor. It’s dirty but the line “Congratulations on your new improvements. I’m sure your lightrod’s, like, bigger than Zeus’s” is so much fun to sing. The whole song is just so much fun. “Go Go Juice” is similar in that it’s about someone who is drinking to get over heartbreak and because they are drunk, they can’t be held accountable for their actions. Mayhem and madness ensue.

The closing track is “Goodbye”, which is very fitting as a goodbye to the album and the listener. It’s a breakup song about being hurt but also being done. Basically, since the person ended it, she’s not going to get back together. It’s done forever. “Can’t have your cake and eat it too. By walking out, it means you choose goodbye” she sings, and I think it’s such a fun way to end all the fun turmoil presented through the course of the album. The singer goes in and out of being annoyed with men, loving men, being annoyed again, being hurt, being horny, being mad, and just all over the place emotions.

The vibes overall are very pleasant and I thoroughly enjoyed the album. I know I mention songs as being forgettable but I also don’t skip any songs in my playthroughs of the album, and I have been listening since it dropped.

I’m not a music aficionado. I just like music. I also just happen to have a lot of opinions.

And with that, see how I ranked the songs.

My Rankings:

1. Tears
2. My Man on Willpower
3. We Almost Broke Up Again Last Night
4. Never Getting Laid
5. House Tour
6. When Did You Get Hot?
7. Manchild
8. Go Go Juice
9. Sugar Talking
10. Nobody’s Son
11. Goodbye
12. Don’t Worry I’ll Make You Worry